up my sleeves

He looks shocked by my question.  I start to feel the hot prick of embarrassment well up on my cheeks as he recovers from the surprise.  I work just as quickly to regain my slipping composure, making sure not to make any drastic changes to my expression.  The feeling of shame is quickly replaced by a far more bristled sensation, a defensive anger coiling up around my heart.  If I am the first to cut ties, I don't get hurt... right?

He recovers quickly enough, though, but I am still watching and listening carefully.  His voice is free of judgement and carries the same lighthearted tone as before.  I decide for now, I can relax.

He makes a joke about the masks.  "Ah, of course," I say, laughing with him as well.  "I didn't take you for such a literal thinker."  We are, of course, just strangers at this point.

He elaborates a bit more on the hurdles facing easy money there.  It would be crawling with Enforcers, I think to myself.  All the more reason for me to be glad that I had stayed the hell away.  He mentions the chaos.  I had heard that the evening ended somewhat badly, but I did not know anyone who ended up attending, so my concern was minimal to find out more.

"Yeah, I had heard something about that," I say, my expression growing distant as I try to imagine the scenario in my head.  "Typical for them to be the ones to start slinging shit first."  I pause, looking at the ground for a moment, as if regretfully, before looking back at him.  "Good thing you got out okay."
""

Iara

Se eu tiver sonhando, não precisa me acordar.

CIAN

If he picks up on her reaction, he doesn't show it. If he knew, he might have started debating with himself if he should tell about his less good habits or not. Luckily, for him, her internal struggle with composure goes over his head and he doesn't run the risk of saying too much. Even if he learns of her opinion when it comes to taking things to feed oneself, he might still keep his own views to himself about that. At least in this early stage of knowing her. Maybe. Or he might just start rambling, because he tends to do that sometimes as well.

Either way, he seems to be managing to keep the conversation from growing too serious with his joke as she laughs, but then he can't help the slight grimace from crossing his face as they start talking about the Enforcers.

"It was as if someone just gave some silent signal."  He starts with a small sigh and shakes his head. "Suddenly they all moved at once and pushed people out and into the trams going to the Drench, no matter who it was. Heard a lot got beaten up too if they didn't move away fast enough." He hadn't seen for himself what started it and he had heard all sorts of versions where either side got the blame for it.

He nods slowly with a hum in agreement over having escaped it. "People leaving early or didn't go at all probably had the best idea. Sure, the festival itself wasn't actually too bad, but if they throw anything like that again and if I am stupid enough to go a second time, I'll make sure to be even more careful." A small grin grows on his lips and he wipes an arm across his face, the earlier thought about just throwing himself into the shallow water comes back together with him becoming more and more aware of the hot air surrounding them, despite the area being more open. He doesn't want to imagine how bad it is in between all the buildings in the rest of the city right now.

I seem silent and reflective, perhaps for the first time since Cian stumbled into my view.  I look at him with deep, dark eyes that appear older than before.  The topic of Enforcers is never pleasant, but something about the way he phrases the recounting of the Masquerade makes me especially uneasy.

If someone did send a silent signal, there is no question who would have.  The question then becomes why.  As an outsider, Cian might not understand my concerns about the why of it.  He just wants to go home.  For me, though, I grow more uneasy than I did after hearing the initial news about the disruption.  I had written it off as some Drencher getting rowdy and making the blue bottoms uncomfortable.

But if it came out of nowhere?  People being forced to board the train regardless of status?

Guess we're all just fish in a barrel to them, I think to myself.

I realize that I had been quiet for some time now, so I shake my head as if to physically will the concerns and thoughts away.  I pull a smile from within and plaster it against my lips.  "Won't be able to make it home if you get yourself killed attending a party, after all," I say, my voice more hollow than before, but still genuine in its message.

"Well," I say, fully aware the conversation has died on account of my uncharacteristic quietness.  "I'm gonna head west and see if I can't find something worth a damn."  Maybe by the time the sun goes down, the city will be more livable.
""

Iara

Se eu tiver sonhando, não precisa me acordar.

CIAN

He doesn't seem too bothered by the silence, even if it gives his mind an opportunity to start spinning around with the past events as it often does. Tumbling the thoughts around inside his head, distracting him and making it difficult to put it all in order. It probably didn't take too long between his last words and Iara saying something again, but he briefly lost sense of that time. Could have been just a couple of seconds, or a minute when he too snaps himself back to the conversation.

Her words brings a soft smile to his face and he shakes his head slowly. "Would make my family very upset, for sure, and that just won't do." He mumbles while keeping the tone of his voice somewhat at ease. His family would be more than enough upset already if they learned all the details. Or just disappointed. That would be way worse than angry.

She mentions her plan on heading out and he gives her a nod, rubbing the back of his neck. "Perhaps I shall take my mindless wandering back towards the direction of the city, then. So I won't scare off more of your dinner. Or get myself horribly lost out here." His smile turns into another amused grin.

Family.  Isn't that why the topic of Enforcers makes me uncomfortable?  Probably so.

I am glad to hear that Cian has a family waiting for him back home, for whenever this lock down comes to its eventual end.  I give him a comforting smile as well.  Though I am unaware that he has deceived them as well as me, I can sense the same anxiousness that ran across his face as he was staring into the river earlier.  You do not need to know the cause to sympathize with that sensation.

I laugh at his joke of scaring off wildlife, another effort to show that there were no hard feelings about it left over.  Like ma said, everything happens for a reason.  I was meant to run into Cian here, but the reason for that remains unclear to me.  If I could ask her about it, I would.  She'd likely tell me not to get involved in whatever business has him so bothered.  I wouldn't listen.

Times may change, but I am still reckless as ever.

"I guess we're headed opposite then," I say, turning my gaze back to him.  "It was nice talking with ya, Cian."  I never really say goodbye in any sort of formal way.  It's bitten me in the ass, but I can't seem to shake the habit.

I stop quite suddenly a few paces away though, and turn back to see if he's still nearby.  "Oh!"  I raise my voice a bit, just to carry the distance.  "If you're ever in need of work, swing by the shop.  Just south of Fistad's left foot.  Has a big red sign that says Ginny's Repair,"  I give him one last smile.  "Ironically broken, but you can't miss it.  We can always use skilled hands."

I wave once more and turn purposefully toward the west.  I wouldn't be looking back again.
""

Iara

Se eu tiver sonhando, não precisa me acordar.

CIAN

Her laugh helps keep the smile on his face and he nods. "Seems like we are, yeah. And likewise." A small chuckle escapes him and he shakes his head lightly. "Hopefully I can be more graceful next time if I run into you again." Perhaps it would be in the city with less wildlife running around.

They part and he is about to move on as well to find a new place where he can cross the river, when he hears her calling out. He stops and turns to look at her curiously, listening to what she has to say and then he gives her a thumbs-up together with a bright smile. "I shall keep that in mind!" He calls back and decides to actually make an effort to remember it. Any kind of contacts for any kind of work are of great value for him right now.

He raises his hand in a wave back before she turns away and then starts his journey back towards the stuffy city. Hopefully not getting lost anywhere on the way.



{END}