All things turn into dark green water.

Help, I'm alive...

A shellshocked expression takes over his face.  Cian is clearly surprised by the tale about Ginny and my would-be-theft, which in itself is not a surprise.  When she had caught me, I thought that I was for sure going to get turned into the police.

"Definitely," I say, a knowing smile taking over my countenance as my eyes look far away.  "Maybe it's because I was just a kid at the time, but I don't think so.  She's not really the type to involve the law if she can avoid it.  She told my Ma, though, which is almost as bad as the Enforcers."  My expression is dimly sullen when I mention Ma, since I would give anything to have Ginny tattle on me to her now.  "I had some friends that were a bad influence," I say, as if to explain why I had acted very differently then.  "Kids are impressionable, and Ginny made sure to leave a much stronger impression on me."

He makes a joke about not breaking anything, as if to not get me in more trouble.  I laugh along with him.  "My thanks," I say with a half bow over the table, my arm dramatically wiggling out to the side to emulate a curtsy.  My hands are busy working on the dehumidifier, but I still have time to notice that Cian has drifted away.  I am not sure if he's focused on the clock, but his expression reads more distant than the present task literally in hand.

I, of course, have no insight into his thoughts, but I do think that maybe my tale has resonated a bit too closely to him.  I remember the joke that I had made back in the Slog about him being a pickpocket.  His answer then didn't reveal much either way, but I think, now, that I know why.

Iara

My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Hard to be soft, tough to be tender

Pick yourself up, up off the floor
Wipe the tears from off your face, because the cops are knocking on the door

Her story had hit too close to home for him. Thefts, parents finding out, being with the wrong kind of friends. It is difficult for him to keep his mind from grabbing onto all the thoughts surrounding it and start spinning around with them. After opening up the clock, he is once again just left standing and staring absently without really looking at it.

A large part of him is always worried someone will find out about his past activities (even more so the more recent ones), even if it had never been anything too serious. Sure, stealing is always serious, but they had never threatened people, broken into houses or things like that. A lot of it is years since by now, so it shouldn't be anything anyone can give him any trouble for. And since Iara had shared her story already...

"I sort of ran with the wrong people when I was younger too..." He starts with suddenly as he drags himself out of his mind. "Or not sort of, I did. So called friends dragging me along on all sorts of things because I wanted to fit in with the cool group, you know." He shakes his head with a small sigh, deciding to leave out the part where he had actually done a lot of it for the promise of money. And once he was in, he also had to keep doing it for the sake of the gang to not get kicked out. The rules were strict.

"My moms found out eventually and, yeah... Think I would have rather been handed over to the Enforcers than having to face those four eyes staring at me with that amount of disappointment." And yet it still had not been enough to keep him on the right path for very long, before he stumbled off it step by step. Something he is far from proud over, but for some reason he just can't seem to keep himself from slipping again and again every time he tries to climb back up.

CIAN

Help, I'm alive...

He grows quiet, sort of blankly staring at the clock in front of him, but not really seeing.  I resist the urge to walk over and wave my hand in front of his face.  It's not like I had asked a question that needs a response.

I had gathered the first time we met that Cian had more going on than he was willing to share, and that's okay with me.  Not everyone is as free with details and information as me.  I'm used to it, I guess.  Instead of worrying myself about it, I focus on the compressor in front of me while he battles whatever demons had risen up in his mind like dust in a windstorm.

I jiggle the little compressor out, flipping it around in my hands to observe the mechanism more closely.  After all, it's a smaller machine within the dehumidifier itself.  It's likely fixable and reusable.  I had no plans to make the client wait for that, but it could be useful again in the future.

I set the broken compressor down and start scuttling the new one into place, when I hear Cian's voice again from the opposite end of the table.  I look up with raised eyebrows in surprise, but it's clear by the contents of his words that he had found a kinship with my story.  That's okay with me, too.  The surprise dissipates from my face, replaced instead with a calm, nonjudgemental expression as he shares what he's comfortable with.

I nod along with his story.  I hadn't particularly tried to fit in with the cool kids, but I had definitely trusted the wrong people.  Misplaced trust can be awfully dangerous, so it's a bit surprising that I am not less quick to take to others.  "Just means they love you," I say with a smile, as he mentions his moms' disappointment.  I knew the expression all too well.  I had even used it myself a few times since then.

"Someone's love can feel like a burden, though," I say with a bit of sympathy, as I turn my face back down toward the machine.  There's something to the way he is guarded about this information that makes me think he's probably not entirely free of whatever haunts his past.  Slyly, I look back up slightly from behind thick lashes.  "Especially if you're still not making good choices for yourself." 

Iara

My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Hard to be soft, tough to be tender

Pick yourself up, up off the floor
Wipe the tears from off your face, because the cops are knocking on the door

"I suppose it does..." Which made him feel even worse for still doing things he's not supposed to and then just digs a deep hole for himself instead of being honest about it with his family. Just to avoid the disappointment, even though it will just stack higher for every thing he does and it will fall down on him hard once he runs out of lies or takes one step too many in the wrong direction.

Her last words drive into him harder than he is prepared for and try as he might to keep a casual expression, he ends up wincing. He gives her a brief glance. A bit awkward, a bit guarded and he doesn't know what to say about it. Though perhaps his reaction says enough already. Perhaps not what it is he is doing wrong, but just that it is something.

"Well, my brother always tells me I have a bad habit of not thinking four times before doing something." He mumbles and looks back to the clock, finally picking up a small screwdriver to start poking around carefully at the different cogs to see how well they are moving. With a short sigh, he shakes his head.

"Eh, don't listen to my muttering. Don't mean to drag the mood down." He throws her another glance with a hint of a smile.

CIAN

Help, I'm alive...

Whether intentionally or not, I have discovered Cian's conflict that toils about in his mind.  Since I am watching him already, I see the wince.  His gaze flickers briefly to my own, but he remains pretty quiet.  It was not really meant to be an accusation, but it has struck a chord within him.

I continue to offer a sympathetic smile, but otherwise wait for him to speak.  I feel as though he wants to talk, as if to offer some explanation for his behavior, but is unable to choose the right words.  I quietly go back to working on the machine while he stews.  I click the compressor into place and start to set the nuts above the bolts, lightly securing them.

My ears figuratively perk up when I hear him mumble, but I do not quite make out what he says.  Maybe if I had been looking at his lips at the time.  He picks up the screwdriver and gets to work on the clock.  I was about to ask 'what?' when I hear a sigh from behind the clock, followed by a wag of his head.

"Not at all," I say, continuing to exude an air of positivity and calm.  "It's my fault for poking around when I'd better leave well enough alone."  I know that while my intentions had been good enough, Cian does not know me well enough to be sure of that.  To him, I may just be someone else trying to shake out information to use against him later.  My motivations of understanding him, being empathetic - they may not be things he's used to outside of his family.

"I just think you seem like a good enough guy, but I don't feel like you believe that," I say, my hands busying themselves with tightening the screws carefully.  "Can't help but be curious as to why.  Sorry."  An apologetic smile and resigned shrug of the shoulders accompanies my explanation. 

Iara

My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Hard to be soft, tough to be tender

Pick yourself up, up off the floor
Wipe the tears from off your face, because the cops are knocking on the door

He is not sure if he actually wants to talk, but still feels this unwanted urge to do so. Thoughts have been storming in his mind for so long they just want to throw themselves out into the open, whether they should or not. So he bites his tongue for a bit, chews some on the inside of a cheek and carefully takes a couple of cogs out of the clock while listening to Iara.

It's true he doesn't know her intentions, but he doesn't believe she is out to get information out of him to pass on to someone. She seems too genuine for it, or she is really good at acting. Whichever it is, Cian has decided to go with that she means well. Another sigh escapes him, as if he is just exhaling out tension one breath at the time.

"Don't need to be sorry. Maybe I'm just overreacting a bit, or... I don't know." He leans on the table and fidgets with the screwdriver in one hand. "I do try to be a good guy. Maybe I already am, but... It's not like I go around starting fights or anything, but it seems like I just keep risking getting myself into some trouble one way or the other."

Some of the small jobs he had done during his stay just to be able to pay the rent may or may not have been less legal. He had not asked any questions about it. Even if it had come to his understanding that a lot of people in the Drench especially did things more or less outside rules and laws on a daily basis, but he still doesn't like being part of it. Especially since he is not from here. He doesn't want to be the outsider coming in and causing anything.

CIAN

Help, I'm alive...

I worry as Cian quietly stews over his clock, carefully removing cogs from the machine.  The tension in his jaw tells me that his focus is not entirely placed in his hands, though, as he listens to my words without revealing much of his internal thoughts as I do so.

His sigh feels heavy from across the table, but I take it as a positive sign that, at least, he doesn't distrust me at this point.  I feel as though I am standing outside, trying to coax a stray cat to a bowl of food.  I smile as I look down at the machine, taking my eyes off of him in an attempt to ease some of the discomfort.

I appear thoughtful as he shares more about his actions.

"Do ya have a good reason?" I ask, risking a glance in his direction, half expecting him to spook further, as though he really had turned into a cat.  "I used to steal so my ma wouldn't worry so much about feeding us.  You can argue about whether or not it is wrong to steal, but the way I see it is that the only problem was who I was stealing from."

The who in this situation being fellow workers in the Drench, who were also struggling to get by day to day.

"Not everyone is as lucky as me," I say, acknowledging that my job here at Ginny's is relatively cushy.  She built the reputation of the shop, and the folks down here knew to trust her because she was one of them.  You can't ask for a bigger boon as a mechanic than the trust of your clients.  Business was steady.  "At the end of the day, people do what they have to in order to get by."

Iara

My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Hard to be soft, tough to be tender

Pick yourself up, up off the floor
Wipe the tears from off your face, because the cops are knocking on the door

Her question brings him back into thoughtful silence while he listens to what she has to tell. The reason she presents seem more acceptable than what his own had been. His family had been doing just fine, he had just been greedy. Greedy and stupid. He's kept his hands to himself during his stay in the Drench so far, not willing to take any risks of getting on the wrong side of anyone when he can't go anywhere else.

If whatever he had been moving for others was stolen or not, however, he doesn't know. He's just the messenger there and not paid to ask questions. He just doesn't want to end up on the streets of the Drench, especially not during this season.

"Not sure my reasons were any good when I was a kid." He admits quietly and picks some more with the inside of the clock. "Did things without thinking. Was too easily swept away by peer pressure." It isn't a lie, just not the whole truth. He decides to leave out the more selfish details

"Even if it felt awful at the time, I'm glad now that my moms found out. Broke me away from that group of people and put enough honest work in front of me instead." He looks over towards Iara and one corner of his mouth twitches in a hint of a smile. "And I'm currently being kept quite busy helping out with various flood damages in exchange for a sleeping spot, so that seems like quite a fair deal."

CIAN

Help, I'm alive...

I value honesty a lot higher than most things, and despite sharing some rather uncomfortable things with me, Cian seems honest enough.  I sense that maybe he's not telling the whole truth, but it's fine.  I think people who get bent out of shape over withholding information as being the same as lying to be a bit dramatic.

Honestly, the fact he's even sharing this muc hwith me is surprising.  I guess at some point, you have to share with someone.  At least he chose someone trustworthy.

"Being young and stupid isn't a crime," I say with a laugh.  "Thank goodness."  I know that I would be behind bars for sure.  Thinking back on my life as a teenager, I had a lot of angst and solved my problems in awful ways.  Living and growing tends to cut back on the amount of terrible decisions you make, but I still can't say I've stopped making them entirely.

I return his smile as he mentions honest work.  It's very similar to what Ginny did for me.  "Ain't a bad deal, for sure," I say.  Having a roof over your head in Drenak was a top priority, after all.  Frankly, I'm quite relieved that he has been able to find his way in the city since the lockdown.  I know several other misplaced people had not been as lucky.  It helps, certainly, to be a tradesman.

"And now you know where the shop is," I add, tightening the last screw on the compressor before double checking the connections.  "If your stay continues to be extended and you need honest work." 

Iara

My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Hard to be soft, tough to be tender

Pick yourself up, up off the floor
Wipe the tears from off your face, because the cops are knocking on the door

"No, guess it isn't." He says softly with another small smile. Being young and stupid and doing crime is a crime, though, but he starts working on trying to push all those thoughts away into a corner of his mind again. He had not shared everything, but it would still have to be enough.

Instead, he finally pulls his focus to the work in front of him proper and starts picking the clock apart faster, laying all the small parts out in order on the table before going over them one by one with a confused frown on his face. He only glances over to Iara briefly as she speaks again, nodding.

"And I thank you again for letting me help out. At least today. Nothing has blown up yet, either." He responds with a quiet chuckle and goes back to organising all the parts taken out from the clock.

He finds himself a clean rag and starts carefully wipe some sort of oily grime off the cogs he picked out. "Speaking of... Anything..." He starts after a short moment of silence. "What do you think even happened to that construction site incident that started this whole lockdown? Think it was legit sabotage? Been hearing all sorts of theories at this point."

CIAN