secrets don’t make friends

SUNJATA

don't know what you're thinking of
do i chip away or keep defenses up?

He doesn’t look at him and Sunjata huffs a quiet resigned sigh, slipping the vest on and strapping himself in. “I never said anything about fucking you.” He offers softly, shrugging a sore shoulder. “I’m sorry if it came off like that.” He thought that maybe the feeling would be reciprocated and it’s clear that he’s wrong.

He reaches over for the mask, staring down at it as he fiddles with the straps, awkwardly and unsure. “I, uh, thanks for the help. How much do I owe you?” He waits, pausing in case anything changes, as if it’s one last hope to fix the mistake he’s caused, though uncertainty weighs heavy in his own embarrassment of misreading the situation.

don't make a sound, if it gets too loud
will you hear me come around?

NATE

Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

Nate’s mouth opens before his brain catches up to the sharp words, his brows furrowed and his indignant gaze on Sunjata. “Oh, you’re too good now huh? Not willing to get your hands dirty?” He is his own worst enemy, pride puppeting him.

Dropping back into his stool, Nate rolls his eyes and shrugs, his heel tapping. It’s all well and good if things simply happen, if impulse overpowers sense, but airing things out give you too much of a chance to look at them. To realize the cute, idealistic enforcer is a bad idea.

“S’more than you got right now.” Nate drawls after a moment, a challenging flint in his eyes now.

And as you stumble through your last crusade

SUNJATA

don't know what you're thinking of
do i chip away or keep defenses up?

Immediately there’s the surprise, the pinch of his brows as his gaze shoots up to stare at Nate in clear confusion, conflict eating away at him. “What?” He starts, pausing, re-evaluating everything, and instead of placing that mask back up on his face he simply lifts a hand to rub at his jaw, to run through his short crop of hair. “I didn’t say that either? What…” He’s confused, rattled, unsure what to say next except for; “I don’t know what you want me to say.” Because that’s how it always went – he just never said the right things when he needed to or meant to.

Regardless, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the clinking lasti – every last bit on his person, and steps over beside Nate to deposit it on the counter, before he withdraws slightly into himself, placing the mask into place finally. “I’ll pay you back for the rest of it.” Comes the modulated voice, the unsure and confused steel gaze that scans the doctor before lifting away.

don't make a sound, if it gets too loud
will you hear me come around?

NATE

Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

Nate sniffs, staring back at the confused face and sneering at it. “Well it’s one or the other.” He just barely manages to keep from throwing his hands up, careful of the gesture around the other, though his tapping feet are even more obvious. They’re so close to a breakthrough, or at least something that feels like breaking.

“What makes you think I want you to actually say what I want you to say?” He doesn’t move as the other man comes close, a small pile of lasti in his hand that Nate frowns at.

Because of his mislaid annoyance, he misses Sumatra slipping the mask on again, the modulated voice making him flinch hard when it first sounds. “Sure.” Nate grits out through clenched teeth. “I know you’re good for it.”

And as you stumble through your last crusade

SUNJATA

don't know what you're thinking of
do i chip away or keep defenses up?

“Does it have to be one or the other?” He asks, still dumbfounded by the comment Nate makes. He doesn’t know what’s going on, only that he keeps saying the things he doesn’t mean. He’s not able to think on his toes like everyone else seems to. He just word vomits until he hopes his point gets across and then from there has to often pick up the pieces. And this whiplash? One second a I’m not some fantasy to now you’re too good for me? Can’t there be a middle ground?

Can’t he just… Find someone attractive without any expectations? He has eyes, after all.

He heaves a sigh, hidden by the modulator now as it settles in place. “Because I don’t know what to say and I can’t read you.” He offers quietly, a little fidgety. “I… Like to be able to read people.” It’s a quieter offer, muffled by the mask but not loud enough that the mask modulates it. He wants to be able to read Nate like he can most others, if only because it gives him at least a heads up to adjust his expectations.

don't make a sound, if it gets too loud
will you hear me come around?

NATE

Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

The expression Nate throws at the other man would be more at home on his mothers face, aimed at him after some outrageous lie. “Of course it is.” He says softly, his head cocking and a furrow appearing between his brows. “You sink or you swim. One or the other.”

Getting out of the water is a hard thing to imagine when your feet are always wet, though there’s more to the insistence than simple nurture, at least in Nate’s case.

Shifting a bit and letting his eyes glaze over the mask again, Nate glances up and grits his teeth, shifting uncomfortably. “Not being read by enforcers is a skill.” He mutters darkly. “I don’t want to be… placated.” At least, not by Sunjata. Not when he’d been interesting.

And as you stumble through your last crusade

SUNJATA

don't know what you're thinking of
do i chip away or keep defenses up?

Nate explains that yes it is one or the other and Sunjata can’t help but to exhale a soft sigh, glancing toward the door of the exam room before it drops to the watch on his wrist. And even though this is awkward, he certainly doesn’t want to go out there and deal with his partner either, so he still has a little bit of time to kill.

He turns, leaning against the counter that Nate sits on the stool beside, arms crossed as he avoids looking at the doctor. “Unfortunately placating is kind of what I do. Things get worse when I don’t.” He doesn’t clarify but he does leave it open ended for Nate to determine what he means, sure that he can figure it out. “And to clarify, I’m an enforcer because I’m forced to be. I don’t actually enjoy any of this shit.” Frustration rears its head, Sunjata’s hand lifting to pluck a string from his sleeve that’s poking out.

don't make a sound, if it gets too loud
will you hear me come around?

NATE

Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

The lean in is close in the small room, Nate feeling cramped. He refuses to shift though, refuses to show any kind of perceived weakness, even if it means he has to crane his neck to keep an eye on the enforcers eyes. “Don’t act like I’m gonna beat you for saying the wrong thing then.” He demands.

Frustration bubbles over in two of them, Nate pushing himself up to his feet to find Sunjata’s eyes and stare down into them, using every scrap of height over the other that he has. “Does saying that make the uniform feel better? The mask?” Nate sniffs, and takes a step forward, then another, until he is either chest to chest with the other man, or until he’s pushed him back into the wall.

Fingers hook into the sliver between Sunjata’s throat and the body armour, Nate’s fingers cool against his skin. “You go when they call, puppy.” The whisper hisses between them, soft enough that it’s almost difficult to hear. “Doesn't matter why, they’re still holding the leash, aren’t they?” They’ve had this conversation before, Nate’s sure of it, and it hasn’t gone anywhere before.

And as you stumble through your last crusade

SUNJATA

don't know what you're thinking of
do i chip away or keep defenses up?

“You act like I’ve experienced times where that’s not the case.” Sunjata mutters darkly. The only experience he has is where each and every repercussion does end in a beating. He’s not just going to switch gears because a Drencher’s told him to. After all, it’s easier to have those expectations and be pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t happen. Better that than to have the opposite.

And suddenly, Nate’s at his feet, cornering him and those sharp steel meets those bright blues as his back presses against the counter’s edge with a slight clench to his jaw. “What kind of choice do I have?” He asks, the modulation burning through his voice now, the wince of it seen in the way one of his eyes squints. He reaches up in the space between them and slips the mask off again, just in time for Nate’s finger to find the space between the armor, against his skin.

“I’m not wanted anywhere. At least up there they’re obligated.” He whispers back but it’s with a fiery outburst, one that flares as he searches Nate’s gaze. “Their attempts to kill me have failed so far so they had to put me somewhere.”

don't make a sound, if it gets too loud
will you hear me come around?

NATE

Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

The pinch of Nate’s nose as the modulated voice hisses between them melts into quiet surprise as the mask disappears again. It’s harder to maintain his snarl in the face of uncovered flesh and blood, his brows furrowing into something that looks more like a grimace than proper anger.

“This,” fingers tug at the uniform, “is what people don’t want around. Change your clothes, shave your head, no one done here cares anymore.” They’d seen as much before, hadn’t they? When he wasn’t an enforcer, people were willing to let him help.

Fingers loosen again, the edges of Nate’s nails scraping Sunjata’s chest lightly. “They only care about the uniform puppy. We both know that.” This close, with the swirling in his head, that line starts to blur again, Nate’s other hand coming up to hold Sunjata’s face, to keep their eyes locked on each other.

“They want you to die down here. Sink or swim, as you’re in concrete boots and body armour.”

And as you stumble through your last crusade